Saturday, November 16, 2013

Best Judge!

In a social network at the time when most of the people are talking about Sachin Tendulkar retirement I came across a note comparing him with Imran Khan, as Sachin Tendulkar built own house for millions and billions where Imran built free cancer institution. After reading this note something stroked me, we all are earning enough have we ever compared ourselves with Mr.Kalayanasundaram, a librarian who donated his 30 years salary and even his pension amount to needy.

Have we ever tried to donate something from our every month salary? We would have 150 CC or 180 CC bikes which may cost 80K or 90K. Why is that we haven’t gone for XL super which cost only less than 20 thousand. So the rest we could have donated. So when we compare ourselves with Kalayanasundaram we should not even celebrate festivals and even our birthdays.

Here this man Sachin Tendulkar he worked for his passion and he achieved something that may take century to reach for anyone. So his retirement is celebrated by most of the cricket lovers. Then they are recognizing a player and this is not an event for social service and in that event Imran Khan may get better applause then Sachin and moreover we don’t know what Sachin Tendulkar contributed to needy.

We easily say they are wrong and these are right but we never judge ourselves and that’s the time we go completely wrong.  Every night we will not sleep as soon as we fall on bed (to sleep). It would be better if we recall the whole day from morning till the time we fell on bed what we have done and what went rightly and what really went wrong, what is our contribution to those beautiful right moments and the wrong moments instead of thinking anything.

Most importantly we should forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have did and very most important is make sure that we should never repeat the same mistake.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

This is my love...

As everyone you may have many friends
There may be a guy
You may go out with them all every time
You may eat with them
Chat with them...
Laugh with them... all the time
Even at night
You may sit tight
At times you even say to me that you love to be with them
That never pinches my possessiveness
Time when you’re upset n cry for any reason...
Then someone from there consoles you
Made you smile
Only that pinches me
Piss me off...
That’ll ask me why I’m here when someone is take care of your smile!

Thursday, August 29, 2013


This blog could lead you to think like usual thought of one who gets into new job or new company, however really not if you experienced what I was earlier and somehow still. I thought of writing this on very first day of my induction that was February 1st 2013. Due to some reasons I’m making it today.

At my first day of induction in there was a session by the director of that whole tower. I always see every induction as bullshit, because usually they all say about their hard works and achievements and what they’re expecting from new joiners. Here in that 45 minutes that man told or correctly highlighted this,

“If I ask what makes you to think about Shell then most of them would answer like pay. You know what comparatively here pay is lesser than my previous employers. But I’m here for around fifteen years. The reason behind is...

Okay... mmmm... I’ve two daughters. Earlier when anyone asks me how big is your daughter? I show like this (he stretched his hand horizontally). After joining Shell when anyone asks me the same question my answer is like? (He stretched his hand vertically). Yes that’s what happened in my pervious organization. In a thought of learning, getting promotion and things I work till late night so I just see my daughter while she was sleeping. When she woke up I’d be sleeping. But here, Shell taught me work like balance. Now I’m growing with my daughters, along with them. So if I see anyone working after working hours I’ll ask what really makes them to sit? Alright at some point everyone need to stretch, even I sit for 12 to 13 hours. But not often, then on very next day I work for only 5 or 6 hours. I’ll take some breaks to balance it.”

All I remember is that was November 30th. Instead of four day close we are instructed to finish it all in a single day. We tried hard and we’re almost done. We were in office by 6am and the time was 12.30am that mean midnight, exactly next day. Where we see no exchange rates were updated on system so I told let we all leave and tomorrow is being weekend we can finish it all by then. But they made us to wait till 1.30am then we finished everything and left by 6.30am (That is December 1st). Without even any questions they want all of us to come back by that noon to review our own work. We all came there and reviewed.

Then on that week I let the team to take some more breaks than usual. What else then they called our whole team and started teaching how to manage break timings. This is not just a one day story happened there every month we have to stay there for at least 16 to 17 hours during month close and at least two to three days every week. If anyone leaves on time, I mean on time, after 8 hours they will hear ‘hey, how is that you’re leaving early?’

Here now, when I stretch my senior is asking is that you’re overloaded if so report that too team manager immediately else your team manager would be in a trouble.  I could see lot of differences between these two organizations.

Once one of Assistant Manager took a girl mobile and asked her to unlock it and he commented dressings of that girl’s friend to her. I asked that girl to take that to HR department and at last the story ended like I created that story to impress that girl. I wonder how is that she‘ll impressed on me by making some manager a slut. If I really want to impress I’d have impressed her parents or her friends at least, that story really make no sense to me. Further to this that fellow broke into my office laptop and stole my personal data and shared with his team fellows who raised complaints against him. Just by thinking like I asked them to do. What really makes wonder is even we proved everything management took no action against him. But they told they had taken action but even now I could see someone is logging into my personal email ID with my old laptop. That’s sounds really great.

Here now, while writing some induction test I crossed this question,
What you’ll do if you’re seeing that something is not in order?
Options were A. I forget what I saw B. I contact conflict of interest team immediately C. I try to understand it better before I complaint D. If it’s nothing to with my work I forget.

I thought the apt answer would be C. But its B they say.

Actually option B was I did, without even asking or investigating I just shown a way to that girl to complaint. But in return action was taken against me and on that girl. Victims and evidence were brutally punished and the real accused fellow is guarded well there.

Finally here we celebrate family day yearly once, there we had one day to talk about values that too with drinks. I never say no one should ever booze if you want to booze, go ahead but my concern is about the freshers and mostly towards those who are staying away from their family. Are they intend to teach them how to booze. GM or Director of that corporate may be a role model of any fresher there. When they drunk and dance that moment will obviously pull those people to drink. It may be the freshers ignorance we say. What if your dad drink and smoke in front of their own children. Managers are in the position of their parents thought their role is to get the work done still they are. Matter of fact this habit may suitable for the western countries as per their weather conditions. What is the purpose of those alcoholic drinks here in 88°F.

What else to say more about... Below picture is a screenshot of an email I received officially from my current organization.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Rainy Independence Day

Morning ... August 15, 2013... Raining...

This rainy Independence Day pushed me to grow younger. I remember my school days, may be patriotism, I always want to go school on Independence Day but not my mom. We have parade on morning by 8am followed by that there will be speech competition then dance, price distribution and last sweet distribution. Hardly 4 hours.

I believe that should be on ninth standard, mean 15th August 2000, and was raining heavily. My brother told like he’s not going to attend the school. My mom was looking at me. I smiled and told like I want to go. She shouted, ‘yes, he’s the chief guest. Without him nothing will happen in school. See, nobody goes only he’s going to hoist the flag. Go, you’ll find a board in front of your school gate saying no function today due to rain. Just for one to two hours you want to spoil that white shirt and shoe’.

By hearing all those words I just prepared myself to go school. By the time she stopped shouting or maybe just by seeing me in white shirt.

I went, no board was there and all my friends were there in parade line. I joined in that again a wonderful day.

But last weekend I asked my friend ‘you've holiday next week?’ he surprised me by asking ‘for what?’

I told this incident to my assistant manager, he gave me a shock by saying when his daughter told she has holiday on next week his reply was like is it for republic day.

I'm not saying this new BPO, MNC industries are changing us. We have some event or at least an email wishing Happy Independence Day. But it’s us forgetting our own days just by running behind money. We are marketing our knowledge on where we get good price, may be by working on BPO or MNC or working in abroad. So it’s our responsibility to keep our things safe to present that to our own next generation, nothing to blame our customers. Learn work life balance and know to differentiate work from life. Work is to earn n life is not only to live, it’s your responsible to design it.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

I can't be goob :P

It’s me...
I never let any relationship get deep to me
But I plant one deep inside me
As they’re me...
Though I know that they gonna leave me...
I hardly trust one
And I pray that they should never understand me
Coz I love the pain of being abandoned
Dark after dark never show the difference
I go to the light... Brightest
Then I smash everything to feel the darkest dark
I lay on one shoulder
I rest on only one nest
I shut all the doors around
I set fire n wander like abandoned child
I love the pain...
It’s not the curse I walk alone
I love to walk like an orphan
As who cares
I run with my own legit
I never want anyone to get me rid out of it
I walk into it again n again
It’s me..
I create complication
I put myself in suffocation
I see myself suffering
I drown in my tears... Bleed... suffer
I never get upset...
If you see me dead
Then believe me I’m not the victim
I’d be the killer
But it never could be suicide
I’d have tested something...

It’s me

Thursday, July 18, 2013


I cry
They may say that I’m missing beautiful life
I go mad
They may worry
I cry, I worry, I go mad but I know...
That I’m crying,
I’m worrying
I'm mad
There is hell of happiness in every corner of my cry
Though they try nobody can reach it
Don't pry in my life
This is my life!
After every whack I still stand
Don’t pretend my feelings
I never mind if you’re not understand
Though my sky s falling down I build it again
I’m not guzzler but hustler
This is my life!
They see me by being in their life
All the time I’m not standing with knife
I may be wounded but...
I hound my dreams, still it’s in my eyes
I shattered at times
But I’m not broken
So soon I can’t be better after bettered
I’m not shy n can’t sly
If I feel I’ll cry


Wednesday, June 5, 2013

You Taught Me!

I've slept on your chest till twelve
I was scared at the crowded bus
Holding your hands always brings the courage
I have seen the love between you and mom
Not any cinema taught me to love my girl.. It’s you...
Every morning mom kisses you on your forehead
I see n blush
You notice me.. Hit me on head n laugh
You know that I love you.. But
I’ve never told you that I too love chocolates
I love if you get me before I get into the school bus
I love jeans... but I’ve never asked you one...
I knew how much you struggled to pay my school fees...
I know I was not even loyal to that
I fail... I fail... I fail...
I have never met your expectation...
I score below average
At that age I can’t earn
So I caged all my wishes..
The day you left us all alone
More than in tears I was in a fear whole day
I felt like everyone around there was to whack me
Until I never knew that we have been paying for the electricity we use
About telephone bills we paid...
I have to take care maa.. All I promised to myself that day!
I know you won’t light up when I’m in dark
You have taught me to light up the dark...

Monday, May 13, 2013

What’s there inside?

These days whenever I feel like eating chocolate or ice creams I go for it, no matter that’s lunch time or dinner, whatever. Even in my refrigerator at least for 4 days a week there will be chocolates, coke or Miranda, biscuits and on freezer ice creams, kulfis.

I’m not stuffing those to give to some neighbour kids or to celebrate some day with friends. As like everyday grocery I purchase those and I eat. I might forget to purchase the weekly grocery items but not those stuffs.

Why is that I'm more particular about those chocos and ice creams?

All I remember is on my school days every morning while waiting for our school bus most of my friends come with their dad or mom. All they get is candy, before the school bus reach us their parents run away to get them. I always move far away from them on that time, I never let them to ask me ‘can I get one for you too?’

In school, we have a store like stationary and as well the chocolates. In every break friends go there to buy chocolates, everybody there have their own turn to treat everyone. I never move with those people. Same happens in canteen, too many items, vada, bread bajji, samosa, onion samosa. I never go if I knew that they are planning to go canteen or store to eat. I say some reason and I’ll stay back in class or go to ground alone.
They do offer to those who are not afford to buy, I never show them that me too the one. I gently avoid that situation by going away, alone.

Even in college apart from travelling expense cost I get Rs.50 as pocket money, monthly. I used to save it to go for movie.

Only once I demanded to get me a Winner brand geometry box that should be on 6th or 7th standard. That costs Rs.25, after I got that I really felt bad. I thought I should have used the old one. Even now I don’t know what was my father’s earning. But I know whatever he brings is not enough. I have never seen my mom fighting with my dad for not earning sufficient. They were in love, they talk they laugh every day.

I never want to disturb him by asking such things. I know how hard for him to bring my school fees and I’m not loyal to that. I fail in all the exams except the final annual, no idea how was that happened. So I never want to ask those things. I feel that’s not mandatory so I avoid asking.

But by seeing my friends everyday with that I suffered deep inside, no one know that. I hid that in loud laugh.

I guess that deep sufferings are now stuffed inside my refrigerator.