Friday, June 25, 2010
I teased her “Oye.. old lady for what you are running without bothering this gentleman”
She scolded “what you want me to do now. I prepared chapattis for you. Have it soon. Don’t disturb me.”
My child is coming after a year so she is excited a bit, no to the core.
I found her hang up on cardboard, I shouted and came towards her “ai… what are you doing, why you are now hanging up there”
She replied in pity voice “I need that vessel to prepare sweets”
Smiled and said “my loose… you are now 60… get down… get down… let me take it”
In sarcastic voice she replied “oh you youngster, are you still 22 for your information you are also 59… hmmm”
We both smiled and I tried to reach up and took that vessel were she balanced the stool. I saw fear in her eyes. More than when she is up.
She is ready with a list and started to read.
“this for son-in-law, she always says that he loves my preparation and this for bingo, she loves rava laddu, ven pongal for my child”
I saw a childish smile, same as when I proposed her. I felt my girl still…
She vanished and I found her in kitchen.
Almost evening, my girl called us through phone, they are supposed to start. Though many times even she gone there and came back alone too. She is still advised them how to sit, stand and get down.
I thought she is still my kid. But when she is advising her own kid, I laughed to myself.
I commented her, “better you try for airhostess job my princess”
“at this age you want me to go”
“so what you are still gorgeous then teens my love”
“hmmm.. poda loose”
Don’t what it’s but every time she said poda I grow younger. This is retired life after done with every thing, fulfilling all my responsibility. Living in the hands of a girl we love at 60 is heavenly life.
That whole night she scheduled everything, where and all can take her grand daughter to.
She revised it more than twenty times. She gasped suppose of talking.
At last Saturday has come. We were ready to receive them. I heard the news of that acceded in flash news. We rushed to airport. I can describe it as war field. Full of fire, sound of cry, human eyes are with tears and hands full of blood.
She held my hands tightly. I enquired a policeman; he responds calmly, “please you people wait out of sight sirs.”
I removed her hold and walked towards the ambulance. That was she, my kid and her man. Beside I kept my eye on my princess. She is searching me in that crowd. I controlled my tears and I hold her hands and walked towards outside. She stared at me. I knew what she likes to ask.
A reporter shown mike towards my face,
“where are you from sir, do you like to add comment about this accident. Did you lost any… anything”
I supposed to say “everything” but disparately I turned other side I noticed a little girl standing near a fire engine with tearful eyes. I ran towards her and keen in front of her and hugged tightly for a minute then took her up. She was nerves.
She asked me “thatha, why mom thrown me out of flight. Where is daddy?”
I hugged her tightly and holed my girl’s hand. She tightens the hold.
That moment I felt ‘still I’m not retired. We have to grow up with her.’ I kissed our bingo and finds way to hospital. All the way I heard,
“If the airport authorities had helicopters at their disposal then some more lives could have been saved. Even the fire engines took time to reach the crash site, and that also compounded the problem,”
A reporter said “A 2006 safety audit by the International Civil Aviation Organization listed India as worst on “technical personnel qualification and training”.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
என்னென்னமோ சொன்னா ஒன்னும் புரியல...
ஆனா நான் தான் வேணும்னு சொல்றானு தெருஞ்சது...
அப்பறம் ஒரு நாள், மறுபடியும்...
ஏதேதொ சொன்னா ஒன்னும் புரியல..
ஆனா வேண்டாம்னு மட்டும் சொல்றானு தெருஞ்சது!!!
எதோ கத்தில குத்தின மாதிரி இருந்தது...
இரத்தம் வரல... ஆனா கண்ல மட்டும் இன்னும் தண்ணி நிக்கவே இல்ல..
-- அவள் மனம் புரியாத இவன்.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Thursday, noon. I’m in office. Not much work but having something to do. Now days I’m not talking to her. She got committed and things gone very worst. I felt there is no mean in talking to her. Every time she used to say “go away from me”. So I thought it’s better to keep myself away from her. All I asking to myself is that how she is ready to leave me all alone and … what else… after she left me. Nothing is there to ask. I can’t say that we just loved. We were in relationship, that’s what I felt. Not in physical relationship.. But we were more comfort in all things. What I can say, now I’m in break up or divorcee or she ditched me.
Suddenly something interrupted.
That’s my mobile vibration sound.
“one new message received”
My instinct said that it should be her. I opened it.
“you know wat. I’m in hospital now”
I was confused that I should reply or have to be quite. But situation wins here. I replied,
“don’t know I vomited everything I ate and found that blood was mixed in it. Mom got scared and came to hospital.”
I really didn’t understand. My fingers are not ready to type anything in my keyboard. I can’t sit anymore in my desk then I went to pantry. I made call to her. She picked immediately.
“What happened da” I asked with anxious.
“nothing” usual answer.
“ai, please … “
“Nothing da. Few drops of blood were found in that. Unfortunately mom seen that and she was scared and asked dad to take me to the hospital.”
“why it’s …” I don’t know what to ask.
Now I moved form pantry to staircase.
She laughed and “mmm.. don’t know da. We checked. Doctor said that everything is normal. It’s better to scan my head. Don’t know exactly. I said you right? I’m a defect piece.” She laughed again.
“don’t lie loose. Please tell me the truth” I insist her.
“Hmmm… so you don’t believe me right? dei, have to do scan then they’ll confirm it. Even dad went to pay for scan. Might be like brain tuber or brain cancer”
“Tell me which hospital you are in?” I asked.
“dei.. Please don’t come please” she pleased.
“okay I’m not, just asked that’s it” I replied calmly.
Few seconds of silence…
I remembered few months back, time we were just friends, I was in my hometown in middle of usual conversation in chat she said that she felt that something bad is going to happen to her. Even astrologer predicted that some strange will happen to her equal to the pain of death.’ I said to console her that ‘nothing will happen to you until I’m with you. She asked ‘then don’t go anywhere by leaving me alone’. I said heartily that ‘I’ll be with you forever.’ She replied for that ‘so finally I could hear some sweet things from you’. I said ‘nothing sweet or salt.’ She angrily replied ‘Poda pissasu you are simply restricting yourself from everything. Never see me as your princess. Be as you are. I won’t fall for you don’t worry.’
She breaks the silence,
“I just lied da. Chumma apdi. We just came for his eye test. I thought that you’ll get into tears. But you are strong.”
“oh... podi” really I feel relaxed.
Then she continued,
“But if whatever I said was true then I can ask my daddy that I want to marry you as my last wish. He’ll surely say okay right? I can live with you.. hmmm... "
Now couple of tears rolled out and dropped down. ... "Daddy has come. Okay bye da” she whispered and cuts the call.
I remember her message few days back when we met n said good bye to each other,
“The moment I saw u, I forget myself,
The moment I held your hands, I forget myself,
The moment u held my hands, I thought y I shouldn’t be only yours.
With last bit of tears saying good bye to you.
Loads of love and kisses your princess”
It was fine Monday, but not for me.. Since my childhood this might be a worst day..
Now its evening, everything frustrates me to the core, ‘why I’m responsible and answering for someone’s mistake’. Even in cab desk till I’m not getting cab properly.. Have to say the day started with her “MUAH”. Then I didn’t forget to see the last page of my diary in my office. Hmmm.. Once she wrote her name and followed by mine.. That time we were working together.. Everything was fine when I started..
I reached home, I can hear her voice, and I was up to taking off my shoes.
“You know what..”
‘Something she is starting now’ (mind voice) I know I can’t hear those things I interrupted “what is for dinner”
“Nothing, why can’t you inform me before I reach”
“dei I started something I want to finish”
“But I asked why you haven’t start.. Preparing dinner”
“You want your dinner right??, you care nothing”
She is still in kitchen, for this reply I expected something more.. But she is silent..
She “today I went to market I saw my mom, she is still angry with me”
“oh.. What she told then”
“you are feeling for nothing”
“… … even you shouted for nothing… when I said nothing for dinner.. You… …”
“on that day, you know how your father scolded me, do you think I’ll forget all those things”
“Why you are talking about past now”
“Past?? Oh.. Something happened to me, it’s nothing to talk, for you even though nothing I’ve to pamper”
“PRADEEP” she shouted my name and came out of kitchen.. I can feel that she is standing behind me.. But I didn’t see her face..
“What?? You’ll feel for nothing then I’ve to pamper you every day.. Do you marry me to pamper you?”
“My mom and her angry is nothing for you”
“Oh yeah for you your parent’s angry is worth so much then you’ve to marry that angry not me”
“DAI” she shouted but I can feel something in that dai..
I turned towards her.. She got tears..
I stared her and knee on sofa and lifted her hands up and start hitting me with her hands.. No reaction from her..
“dei loose sorry da” by saying this I pulled her to me and wee fall in sofa.. She is on my lap..
“Loose please, sorry, tell me what happened”
“mmm.. nothing.. What happen to you” she asked by playing with my shirt button..
“Nothing da.. I’m okay.. Tell me what happened to my princess”
“Sorry” she replied then she stared telling what happened..
I can still remember that fellow, actually her father wants him to be his son in law.. Yeah not as her husband because that is his wish about her life.. Her father made him to come in to her life.. He is like psycho.. Later her father come to know about him.. He realized he did a blunder.. But he started torturing her through messages She forwarded his messages, it was horrible.. Where she didn’t tell to her parents.. Because she thought they might feel guilty..
Then it’s obvious.. I mean about her father’s angry.. Who can tolerate, when someone taking such angel away from them..
Even now she used to call that fellow and talk.. To be frank I admired such things..
Only just one year I can say we got married, now I’m 28. I believe before second year anniversary her parents angry will go away else at least must go little bit down..
She slept.. By lying on my chest..
I whispered “loose … … loose”
She tried to open her eyes and said “mmm”
I said in whisper “I love you”
“poda” she closed her eyes again..
After few second she opened her eyes and said “me too” and tried to reach my lips.. Suddenly she stopped and said “no, I won’t give, and then you’ll say that I jabbed you”
We both stared each other for few seconds..
I bend and we hold each others for few minutes..
She asked “hungry??”
I nodded my head..
That moment I felt like I can answer for everyone’s mistake, I need no cab.. i can remember a quote ‘you are blessed to be stressed’
I want to be blessed to frustrate to the core daily..
If you say that you have no smoking or drinking habit..
Comments on you are “Hey, are you youngster?”
“Why you are not enjoying life?
“Don’t waste your life”
“Don’t restrict yourself”
mmm.. TO WHOMSOEVER BOOZE IT MAY CONCERN,
In this universe the water is in many forms, and they gives you pleasure,
Whenever I feel lonely this blue water gives me pleasure. A day I can spend on seeing that blue water. Usually I share all my things, sorrow, happiness, wishes and everything with that.
NO SUCH ROTTEN WATER CAN GIVE SUCH PLEASURE, REAL PLEASURE!!!
Pleasure given by rotten water,
Don't even say that YOU people are enjoying the life... when in real YOU people doesn't even now what's happening around you at that time... How can say you are enjoying the life... This is not a real pleasure, YOU people are hiding yourself from trouble for few hours or a day. You people get courage only when you booze. We all are always… who is facing troubles are really living… only who is living can enjoy.