Friday, June 18, 2010

What you like to call it as?
Still I don’t know…

Thursday, noon. I’m in office. Not much work but having something to do. Now days I’m not talking to her. She got committed and things gone very worst. I felt there is no mean in talking to her. Every time she used to say “go away from me”. So I thought it’s better to keep myself away from her. All I asking to myself is that how she is ready to leave me all alone and … what else… after she left me. Nothing is there to ask. I can’t say that we just loved. We were in relationship, that’s what I felt. Not in physical relationship.. But we were more comfort in all things. What I can say, now I’m in break up or divorcee or she ditched me.

Suddenly something interrupted.

That’s my mobile vibration sound.

“one new message received”

My instinct said that it should be her. I opened it.
“you know wat. I’m in hospital now”

I was confused that I should reply or have to be quite. But situation wins here. I replied,

“what happened?”

“don’t know I vomited everything I ate and found that blood was mixed in it. Mom got scared and came to hospital.”

I really didn’t understand. My fingers are not ready to type anything in my keyboard. I can’t sit anymore in my desk then I went to pantry. I made call to her. She picked immediately.

“What happened da” I asked with anxious.

“nothing” usual answer.

“ai, please … “

“Nothing da. Few drops of blood were found in that. Unfortunately mom seen that and she was scared and asked dad to take me to the hospital.”

“why it’s …” I don’t know what to ask.

Now I moved form pantry to staircase.

She laughed and “mmm.. don’t know da. We checked. Doctor said that everything is normal. It’s better to scan my head. Don’t know exactly. I said you right? I’m a defect piece.” She laughed again.

“don’t lie loose. Please tell me the truth” I insist her.

“Hmmm… so you don’t believe me right? dei, have to do scan then they’ll confirm it. Even dad went to pay for scan. Might be like brain tuber or brain cancer”

“Tell me which hospital you are in?” I asked.

“dei.. Please don’t come please” she pleased.

“okay I’m not, just asked that’s it” I replied calmly.


Few seconds of silence…

I remembered few months back, time we were just friends, I was in my hometown in middle of usual conversation in chat she said that she felt that something bad is going to happen to her. Even astrologer predicted that some strange will happen to her equal to the pain of death.’ I said to console her that ‘nothing will happen to you until I’m with you. She asked ‘then don’t go anywhere by leaving me alone’. I said heartily that ‘I’ll be with you forever.’ She replied for that ‘so finally I could hear some sweet things from you’. I said ‘nothing sweet or salt.’ She angrily replied ‘Poda pissasu you are simply restricting yourself from everything. Never see me as your princess. Be as you are. I won’t fall for you don’t worry.’

She breaks the silence,

“Loose...”

I “Hmmm”

“I just lied da. Chumma apdi. We just came for his eye test. I thought that you’ll get into tears. But you are strong.”

“oh... podi” really I feel relaxed.

Then she continued,

“But if whatever I said was true then I can ask my daddy that I want to marry you as my last wish. He’ll surely say okay right? I can live with you.. hmmm... "
Now couple of tears rolled out and dropped down. ... "Daddy has come. Okay bye da” she whispered and cuts the call.

I remember her message few days back when we met n said good bye to each other,

“The moment I saw u, I forget myself,
The moment I held your hands, I forget myself,
The moment u held my hands, I thought y I shouldn’t be only yours.
With last bit of tears saying good bye to you.
Loads of love and kisses your princess”

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