Thursday, July 29, 2010

'Cause it's you!

Evening around 5, we reached home, me n our bingo. Soon after she entered in the home she shouted “M/s Smart I’m home and your genius too” she laughed.

She came out of kitchen, “ohhh! What this little devil wants her mom to do for that” by the way she tried to take her school bag… she smelled something and stared at me … real strange look.

She asked me “don’t you remember what day is today?”
Soon after asked this question, she pulled bingo with her and went in side.

I asked to myself, what day? Birth day, anniversary or day I proposed… mmm … nothing I remember.

I heard “brush like me not like your smart father”
By the way she came to bed room. that time I’m taking off my clothes.

“Pardon me my majesty, I don’t remember” in sarcastic tone.

“ahaa! .. Enough… please stop your non sense… Really you don’t know what you did”

“oh! Let me first get clear my majesty, you want to know what I have done for today or what day is today? Please be sure my lord” I gently nodded my eye brows.

“uff! … you made her to eat bread omelet ….”

I remain silent… what else I do …

“what happened sir … hope now you was clear about what I’m asking …”

“oh! That’s the problem” I smiled.

“I’m serious”

“Okay come here” I pulled her towards me.

“Today is Friday, how come … don’t you remember” she asked me in pleasing tone.

“dei! If you feel it’s a sin or something that should not do, don’t do it for any cost. Any way other week days she gonna have what’s the problem in Friday.”

No reply from her. She still stares at me.

I continued “Don’t –YOU- remember a day after we proposed each other, we met in Bangalore in some mall, and it might be Saturday. You asked me ‘loose if you like to have anything from KFC. Moreover though I said no, you yourself went to buy for me, my dear princess. Then …”

“Okay… enough…” she smiled.

Again I continued “Anyway this is your perception. Don’t insist her, though she is our daughter”
In sarcastic tone she asked me “then why you are not taking now. Justifying for her -WHY-YOU-ARE-NOT?”
I sat on bed and made her to sit on my lap

“Cause my princess doesn’t like that smell”

“anyway that’s someone’s problem … hmmm?” she noded her eyebrows.

“mmm … ‘cause it’s you”

I tried to reach her lips …

“poda” she pushed me and got up from my lap. Then she came near, each of us foreheads clashed. She said “that one thing is I like you so so so much. Don’t go away from me. ok?” she whispered.

Suddenly Bingo opened the door;

She winked and she moved to kitchen by the way she said “don’t do it next time”

me “ai … loo”

“whatever” she left to kitchen

Now my bingo on my lap, “daddy, from tomorrow onwards …”

“you don’t want it right?”

“uhymm, you get me a mint after that” lighting reply, she winkled at me.

We both laughed out loudly.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

What makes you to think about your marriage?

  • I think I’m aged.

  • All my friends are married.
    (Do you know what they felt when seeing a single like you?)

  • My parents are compelling me so I have to.

  • My relatives are asking my mom why I’m still single.

Is these are the reasons behind your marriage.

Then it’s obvious that you and your partner have to sacrifice things after marriage.

The reason behind your marriage should be LOVE.

If you have a question like this,
how can I select my pair by going against my mom?
I have a question for you. If in any case your mom’s father and your father are in squabble, on which side your mom stands. If you don’t have answer, here it is your father’s side. Simple! It doesn’t mean that she is not loving her father. If you ask the same thing to grand or great grand mother you’ll get only this answer. Life is a gift from your parents. I do agree! And I don’t want to sacrifice it even for them.

If you have a question like this, my dad spends for my studies, my dad bought me dresses, my mom feds me. They can choose a life partner as well. That’s really a tough question to answer. That’s really true, every mom did that. But have you ever wonder how a just born child knew to suck that milk. If you believe in god, then its god, if you are atheist, then it’s nature. Same God or Nature taught every one to feel for their own pair.

If you have a question like this, these many years people did arranged marriages and lived a happy life, what for me. That’s really another tough question.
Even I agree, because I started dreaming about my girl ‘cause of my parents. I know how they loved each other. But I’m not lucky enough to have such a life by selecting strange partner.

I’m not asking everyone to do love marriage. But I'm saying that the dreams and views about marriage are different for each other. They should match accordingly else,

Before marriage, a girl has to
make love to a man to hold him.
After marriage,
she has to hold him
to make love to him.”
--Marilyn Monroe

A girl who is having a dream about her marriage life, her husband should pamper her everyday, expecting a surprise her every month. What if she married to a guy whose thought about marriage is to get a kid for his family. There is nothing wrong in their thoughts but what will happen if they get married.

There is no meaning if a pair looks made for each other or investigating on each of their backgrounds. A pair can have a comment like made for each other is by the way they understanding each other at the time of misunderstanding arise between each other. Understanding will give trust. Trust is other name of love. Love should create a bond… bond called as marriage.

The bond hold both should be love and not for society, parents and even your own children. Have a time to understand each other and know really can live together. Do just let it happen.

Marriage is just another invention of mankind. Up to me “it’s an occasion to inform people we know, that we are going to live for each other, please don’t disturb us”.

Marriages exist first and they extended it to reception according to their wealth. Then we started celebrating reception before marriage. Engagements exist later. To take time to read each other. Though you committed, then you finds that there is no more compatibility between each other, think and proceed further. Always people think that things will be getting fine after marriage. What if not? Don’t do things for one day celebration.

Children are born by us not for us." Every parent has dreams and should dream to give a birth to their own children, soon after they come into this universe they are started dreaming. Only thing parent should do is to teach how to dream not WHAT TO DREAM? If all did then this universe will starts missing new human every day. Your children learn things from you anyway. Show them how truly should love and believe!

Have a Happy Life!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Only if I get back those moments...

"Remember there's no such thing as
a small act of kindness. Every act
creates a ripple with no logical end."
-Scott Adams

(Sitting in the corner of a dark room, started talking alone) First I don’t want to attend any calls. Later I hesitate to pick calls. Then I forgot to do that (smiles) … (with serious face) Now I hate to talk through mobiles ... I changed a lot. I can feel it. Still some advising me like “if you see someone more gorgeous and in good structure you’ll fall again”. Moreover they want me to mark their words. Funny! Really it’s …

Yeah! I know I might fall… I’ll… I fell because she is beautiful. If so I should keep falling everyday since … (smiles) I can say from school days.

mmm … what if I fell for some gorgeous as my fellow said, I’ll expect same things what I get n felt in earlier. I still remember, in a long travel she slept on my shoulder, by holding my hand. When she woke up we had a conversation, all of sudden I kissed her. Deeply… (smiles by looking down)

she said “you are killing me” by holding my shirt tightly. …

Then she said “I felt your breath all over my face while you … “

“Is it so? I didn’t felt yours” in sarcastic tone.

By staring my eyes she replied “I can’t breathe …” she gasped while saying this...
“loose take me somewhere … only you and I … Only…”

(Whispered) I should ... I should… why I didn’t …

(In louder tone) mmmm yeah! What if I expect same
appreciation after kissing the gorgeous? What if she said nothing? I don’t know … What I do if she comes back when I’m with that hell gorgeous? (smiles) how stupid I’m …

(in pleasing tome) She was expressive.. (bit louder) more expressive, that’s what killing me know. Fine, before that I had a crush with a girl, you know what, when I started talking with her I forget even myself, (smiles) where I get time to think about that crush. Even she knew about that. (voice fades) Today everything went against everything.

I thought thousand things before proposing; now I should think ten thousand things even to accept any proposal. (smiles) proposal…

Even now … every night before I sleep I’ll say “Love you loose” …
(Tears falling out from eyes) how fool I’m … mmm … fool …

(by wiping the tears) don’t compromise if you are not dare enough, it’ll make other coward, reserved … wired … (by wiping the tears smiles) … (whispered) don’t do that … (Walked towards the mirror, staring own face).

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Sweet Nightmare! waiting for another

I was in the local train, sitting after a seat near by window, traveling with my roommate. He is standing out of my sight.

Dad asking me, “what are you up to?”

Me “plan to do further courses, to build up my career”

“are you sure?”


“don’t regret once you on half way. If you start then finish it don’t give up”

“mmm” I replied.

I turned other side for sight seeing. A small boy, with tinny eyes, holding a bag tightly came and sat on the same seat. I smiled at him, that boy too.

I asked “you came alone? Where is your father?”

“no” and pointed his hand somewhere behind.

He asked me “where is your father?”

“he past away… long back”

“oh… with whom you were talking... sometime before”

“That’s my father”

Passengers sitting behind my seats started murmuring by looking me strangely. After few seconds he left the seat. After few minutes of travel, I got down in some station. I know that is not exact destination where I have to get down. Phone rings, my roommate on line.

“ai, where are you, that is not…”

Before he finish, I interrupted, “yeah! I know, you just go n finish your shopping. I’ll come to room… mmm.. bye”

Without waiting for his reply I cut.

I had seen a mother and her son standing on road side, where few other boys eating pizzas find all over streets. That mom held her son’s arm tightly to avoid him from picking those pizzas. He pleased her with his eyes. She said no by nodding her head right to left and by opening her eyes wide.

I was standing in some border of something; I can feel that I should not cross it.

Suddenly I woke up from dream. I again closed my eyes. I feel a hand on my legs. That must be my dad. I tried to call him.

“no need to say anything” only I heard these words.

I felt his presence till dawn. I had gone to deep sleep after many days. I woke up in the morning I was very fresh, the calendar was showing the day, that was exactly eight years and one month old; from the day he left me alone. I’m still waiting for him, like to talk many things.

dad please come today, wanna talk I’m struggling. I can’t breath let we chat today… will you? mmm

Monday, July 12, 2010

Virginity vs. Nothing!

This is only ma thoughts. I shared with my friends often. First I planned to give title as virginity vs. purity. But I feel only when two things are really equal and to find which one is the best we go for versus. Here virginity is nothing so there is no purity can compare with it.

In US people celebrate prom night that is the night maximum number of people loose their virginity. That is their last day of school or collage life. Might they marry same fellow or not but that day they loved each other.

Test for this virginity is being done only for women there is no test to find a men to be a virgin (as I searched I can’t find, if you knew let me know). People test that with hymen. This is like a screen in the women organ. If it’s present that women is virgin if not she is not virgin. Fine that’s good. As I said earlier when there is no test can prove a man to be a virgin, we should not do it for women.

Everything in this universe is created with purpose, even this universe. If our earth is 1/5 distance away from the place it is being, no creature can live in that chillness. Same distance if it placed towards sun we can not heal that heat. We all have to live so it was placed here rightly. Purpose is resolving everyday, I believe.
So what is the purpose of hymen?
This is to protect from virus or bacteria come through urinary organs while they cleaning the organs. It prevents the virus/bacteria from entering into the womb.

What if once she had sex?
Anyone should/will have sex only if they are matured enough, so she is matured enough to be safe when cleaning their organs.

All I say is purpose of hymen is not to prove one girl is virgin.

Expect your partner to loves you… love you now. Not anything else. When expect nothing, there’ll be no disappointments.

I remember a question from well known classmate “then why you want to be virgin?”
My reply is “what I do if my girl expects me to be virgin?”

Whatever I can think and write, but I’ve to respect her thoughts anyway. ‘Cause she is my girl!

Love you ma princess.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Don't Disturb Please!

I shouldn't have met her. But why she is called me often. She disturbed me so much. I went that day to meet her. I don’t want to meet her in crowd.

First I seen her in train, local train, too crowded. I didn't talk to her. Quietly I watched her. She stood near door. Balancing in one hand and messaging to someone, she is very excited and smiling for every message. I thought might be her friend… boy friend.

She went to temple. I waited outside. But I can watch her. She walked step by step, where her each step she kept very near by near, might be for some wish. After a few minutes of prayer she sat for a minute and came out of temple. She dialed some number,

"loose, I thought you’ll come to temple… but …."

I didn't hear what the answer she received from other side.

She then "oh… okay… so that office is more important then me… poda..."

By talking this she crossed the road and again she got in to train. She then took an auto, I followed her.

Already it became dark, so I guessed that she is on the way to her home. My instinct was right. At last I found her home. I waited outside, I was little bit nervous. Too many question I asked to myself. What I do if she shout. What I do if say I didn’t do that or I don’t know… or anything else… by thinking all those I started walking to the staircase.

I was near a room, I heard her voice, might be she, she said,

"just try de… what will happen, try to call him, even last Saturday I and machi tried to call him, you only having that board right?"

I lost my sense, I entered into her room. I just stood in front of her. She scared and even she can't able to shout first, then she started screaming and tried to get off from the bed. I pulled and slapped her. Her mom came inside with anxiety.

I vanished!

Yeah! I shouldn't do that. I behaved too rude to her. I'm feeling sorry for that. If someone meets her please convey my sorry to her.

This is for you "DON'T DISTURB ME please!" ...

Friday, July 2, 2010

Night After YOU Left ME!

Night by 9 I reached my room. I opened the locked door. It’s dark in and out. No one was there to greet me. I said ‘hi’ to the darkness and entered into the room. I locked the door from inside. Still it was dark; no sound other than my foot step. I changed my cloths and entered in to bathroom, still darkness remains same. I opened the tap; only sound of that water occupied the whole room.

I dried my face with towel. Came into living room I sat on that easy chair. Chair made some noise. Still it was dark. I didn’t felt to switch on lights. Darkness remains as same as I entered the room. Room was full of silence. I was not clear about what I have to think. Again I got up from the chair. It sounds again. I took a shower for fifteen minutes. I came out with all wet. I didn’t even take towel. I sat on the same chair.

What I searched in darkness? Nothing I was searching. Just thinking about what I lost. Why I’m still… I know I spent days with smiles and sounds long way. This is my time to be with my silence. My eyes were not closed. All I decided is ‘No more tears for the same reason again and again’. I felt myself as a stupid.

I’m struggling to swim in the dead ocean. I fell because I felt you are in it, without even realizing that I don’t know to swim. Once I jumped into it I found what I seen was just your image on that clear dead ocean. You are still on the shore and smiling at me. I sank many times and came out. After few struggling I looked at your side you were not there. All I remember now is your last smile.

This was not a dream but it is.

I went in front of the mirror. Not clear image I seen in that darkness, I seen dark shade in my face. I stared at myself. No change I found except the bald head. I want to be bald to remind myself not to thing and not to forget.