These days whenever I feel like eating chocolate or ice
creams I go for it, no matter that’s lunch time or dinner, whatever. Even in my
refrigerator at least for 4 days a week there will be chocolates, coke or
Miranda, biscuits and on freezer ice creams, kulfis.
I’m not stuffing those to give to some neighbour kids or to
celebrate some day with friends. As like everyday grocery I purchase those and
I eat. I might forget to purchase the weekly grocery items but not those
stuffs.
Why is that I'm more particular about those chocos and ice creams?
All I remember is on my school days every morning while
waiting for our school bus most of my friends come with their dad or mom. All
they get is candy, before the school bus reach us their parents run away to get
them. I always move far away from them on that time, I never let them to ask me
‘can I get one for you too?’
In school, we have a store like stationary and as well the
chocolates. In every break friends go there to buy chocolates, everybody there
have their own turn to treat everyone. I never move with those people. Same
happens in canteen, too many items, vada, bread bajji, samosa, onion samosa. I
never go if I knew that they are planning to go canteen or store to eat. I say
some reason and I’ll stay back in class or go to ground alone.
They do offer to those who are not afford to buy, I
never show them that me too the one. I gently avoid that situation by going
away, alone.
Even in college apart from travelling expense cost I get
Rs.50 as pocket money, monthly. I used to save it to go for movie.
Only once I demanded to get me a Winner brand geometry box
that should be on 6th or 7th standard. That costs Rs.25,
after I got that I really felt bad. I thought I should have used the old one.
Even now I don’t know what was my father’s earning. But I know whatever he
brings is not enough. I have never seen my mom fighting with my dad for not
earning sufficient. They were in love, they talk they laugh every day.
I never want to disturb him by asking such things. I know
how hard for him to bring my school fees and I’m not loyal to that. I fail in
all the exams except the final annual, no idea how was that happened. So I
never want to ask those things. I feel that’s not mandatory so I avoid asking.
But by seeing my friends everyday with that I suffered deep
inside, no one know that. I hid that in loud laugh.
I guess that deep sufferings are now stuffed inside my
refrigerator.
