Times in rest room!

It’s totally disgusting. For all this might be over reacting, but it’s my pain. Now I have things what one need at this age, my career, my pay and everything. Still it’s aching, I missed something. That’s what I said long time back “if money is my only problem I would have been keep on crying since I heard the word money”.

I ever felt bad for even at the time my pay was low. All I knew I‘ll reach my goal. Even after graduation, I wandered like a dog for a simple job; even that time my status update was ‘sharpening my AXE’. Damn now I felt very bad about myself. I cried n cried enough for more than half year, still I feel the pain at every night. I ever had a though that I’ll go lonely again. I’m okay now and all time unless hear those words … unless I met, I don’t know what’s happening, might be nervous, fear, crumple … stuck up … thirst … killing me in simple. I don’t know why I’m still struggling.

Please someone help me to come out of this … I'm struggling to sleep all nights ...

How she is expecting me to talk casually, even as soon as I received any chat message from her I’m running to rest room and I cry enough then I get back to my job. Even today!

Do you thing I’m coward?

You or I mean you and me

Have you ever walked or worked or wandered or met anyone or did anything naked? That’s really hard to do. We can also say it in other way; we are hiding something with us all time. Don’t we go nude at least one time to someone in our life span? We might, we call them as better half.

There should not be any secrets between them. If there is anything or something then there is no meaning of living together. All the nights you spend together, showing once to another are to mean that there are no secrets with me. There is a million dollar question what if one can’t accept another’s secret. Nothing to wonder, time you reveal your secret is matter. Speak frankly without any hesitation, after everything you can go for commitment. One who can accept your faults with smile is having all the right to laugh when you succeed. After all if both of them find some more comfort that lead them to commit. Even after they committed, problem will (MUST) arise.

Do you think suicide is the best solution for any problem? If you say yes, then there is no question if you go for divorce.

When we are saying as better half, what is the meaning in leaving other incomplete? Then there will be an unanswerable question. How can one tolerate blunders? Blunders, that’s really punishable. Even in the (damn) law, death is the punishment for only to the cruelest behaviors. Death is separation of body and soul. When you are the body and your better half is the soul. Is there any meaning in letting your soul out for such blunder? Remember, “Death is a punishment, NOT for ALL BLUNDERS.” Ever think about leaving other alone, which is seriously a suicide. Not all the problems are just a problem.

In a pair, if one has affair with someone new, FIRST the other should think really what that someone is really filling. Only when there is a GAP something (SOMEONE) can fill. The gap might be on either end. As I stated earlier, “DEATH IS A PUNISHMENT not for all blunders.” Make sure there should not be any regret after the punishment. If the true understanding blossomed between them then there is no time for punishment.

In this relationship never expect the other to understand you, you understand them first. I really mean it. If your partner is not comfortable with any of your activity, then the fault is yours, because always it’s your responsibility to keep your partner in comfort. This can be made it on other way; it’s each others responsibility to take care of each other in each moment of life. This is what we agree at the time of marriage.

Above all is the reason though there is a term called sex, people use love instead. That it should happen spontaneously, not by fixing a time and waiting for that. When they feel like there is no words to describe their love they should make love. Times, just a word is enough, a hug or a kiss will do but in some moment we really feel, where we find no word to describe, that time the chemical reaction is termed as love.

If it happens for any other reason then it’s called business. Even the reason is they need kid, and then it’s a production not love. If a man married a girl for dowry then he is a male gigolo. That is called as prostitution not family.

She Still Remains same to me!

She left the office very earlier today. I was little bit busy, as soon as I heard from her colleague I tried to contact her she just said that she is not feeling well and asked me to not to bother. After office I bought bread for us. I saw foot prints made of flour in front of our home.

Carefully, without disturbing those prints I entered home. I was wonder because she is doing something in kitchen. Usually she do but with my company. She was not born with silver spoon but her father brought up her so. I remembered the first dish she tried, she know that I like dosa then idly. Actually both sides were not backed properly and it was already like a pizza. She sliced it in to ‘N’ number. With the same eager and fear I entered in to the kitchen. She was really fighting with that cocker.

“Oye”

She was bit shocked and with disappointed tone, “you came? Mmm … I thought of surprising you by making everything ready when you reach home. But you came early.”

Early? My loose, what happened to you, why you came early? You said that not feeling well n what you are doing now?

With childish smile, I saw a bit of shyness in it, “nothing, you said right, yester day that you are missing those days, Krishna jayanthi celebrations and vinayagar chathurthi recipes. Feel like giving things to you da. Today is Krishna jayanthi.” By rubbing the flours in her hands she finished with that smile.

By merely looking at her I gone back to those days, B.M (before marriage) every day as soon as she woke up, she message me asking “awake?”, “had breakfast?”, that day I said ‘yes’, as usual she found the truth, then usual threats and anger. I asked what she had, she said that kolukattai, and in that day there was some pooja in her home. I said I miss her like anything and even kolukattai too. She really felt bad. Those days we were hardly met each other. Very next day she prepared payaasam for me. Even while having that she asked too many times ‘is it okay?’, I replied ‘you added too much of sugar’. Though she held her spoon, she changed it to left hand and grabbed mine and tasted it. She did it knowingly. That time I realized every man is complete only when he finds his own girl.

“what da? I wasted everything …”

“nothing is waste my princess”

We started backing that half backed kolukattai.

I said “this should prepare for vinayagar chathurthi”

“I know, but you said yesterday, so that I did”

“you did? Oh … what you did?”

“Poda …” our play continued then ...

We backed all half backed kollus as well us!

I Woke Up in Roofless Room

Today I woke up before dawn; I was wonder that there is no roof I found over there. I was confused. I was wandering inside the room, all of sudden I found a pistol near by my pillow. As soon as I picked it up, I remembered some order given by someone. I walked down the streets. I remembered the voice, but I don’t remember when I heard n who said, “No Matter who … no matter where … Nothing will bother you. It’s up to you to save and protect." All the way I heard is only these words.

I saw a man who’s stealing a shop by making a small hole on the wall. I stopped there and watched him for a while. I remember my order. I lifted the pistol n my fingers reached the trigger. I heard that voice, “no matter who … no matter where …” I shot him dead. I continued the journey.

Next a woman I saw, who is offering her at some cost. Yeah! They called her as prostitute. This is not illegal in some region. I heard the voice “it’s up to you to save n protect”. I know I hate it. Might be a very good business and have a pity short story behind them. I wouldn’t prefer this. I shot her and her two of the customers. Yeah! I read it somewhere ‘where there’s a demand there’s a supply’.

I saw a boy playing with a puppy. He’s really not playing but squeezing it. I crossed them. I still heard screaming noise. “NO MATTER WHO”, I turned around and shot that kid. I continued walking, puppy followed me. In the petty shop an old man was selling drugs. NO WAY! I shot him too. I returned to my room, roofless room. I gone to sleep, puppy started licking my ears and nose. I pushed it away, again it continued. No other go I shot it.

Morning I went out for a breakfast. The shop daily I have my food was not opened. That’s owned by that woman. And a petty shop where I daily purchase my groceries are shut. Yeah! That’s own by that old man. A boy who daily plays with me was missing on that street. I remember that thing. I feel crap about myself. I took the milk pocket and poured it in a bowl for that puppy without knowing what I did to it.

When I realized I sat in the corner of the room, felt bit of loneliness. I closed my eyes for a while …I heard a strange screaming noise. I woke up all of sudden, now I found a roof above. Everything might be a dream, I thought. But there is a pistol beside me. I watched outside of the window a boy playing with a puppy.

"There is no god…
Other then You n Me!
There is no evil..
Other then You n Me!
There is no sin…
Other then loving each other!
There is no pitiless punishment…
Other then forgiving with smile!
There is nothing other than YOU and ME!!!"

'Cause it's you!

Evening around 5, we reached home, me n our bingo. Soon after she entered in the home she shouted “M/s Smart I’m home and your genius too” she laughed.

She came out of kitchen, “ohhh! What this little devil wants her mom to do for that” by the way she tried to take her school bag… she smelled something and stared at me … real strange look.

She asked me “don’t you remember what day is today?”
Soon after asked this question, she pulled bingo with her and went in side.

I asked to myself, what day? Birth day, anniversary or day I proposed… mmm … nothing I remember.

I heard “brush like me not like your smart father”
By the way she came to bed room. that time I’m taking off my clothes.

“Pardon me my majesty, I don’t remember” in sarcastic tone.

“ahaa! .. Enough… please stop your non sense… Really you don’t know what you did”

“oh! Let me first get clear my majesty, you want to know what I have done for today or what day is today? Please be sure my lord” I gently nodded my eye brows.

“uff! … you made her to eat bread omelet ….”

I remain silent… what else I do …

“what happened sir … hope now you was clear about what I’m asking …”

“oh! That’s the problem” I smiled.

“I’m serious”

“Okay come here” I pulled her towards me.

“Today is Friday, how come … don’t you remember” she asked me in pleasing tone.

“dei! If you feel it’s a sin or something that should not do, don’t do it for any cost. Any way other week days she gonna have what’s the problem in Friday.”

No reply from her. She still stares at me.

I continued “Don’t –YOU- remember a day after we proposed each other, we met in Bangalore in some mall, and it might be Saturday. You asked me ‘loose if you like to have anything from KFC. Moreover though I said no, you yourself went to buy for me, my dear princess. Then …”

“Okay… enough…” she smiled.

Again I continued “Anyway this is your perception. Don’t insist her, though she is our daughter”
In sarcastic tone she asked me “then why you are not taking now. Justifying for her -WHY-YOU-ARE-NOT?”
I sat on bed and made her to sit on my lap

“Cause my princess doesn’t like that smell”

“anyway that’s someone’s problem … hmmm?” she noded her eyebrows.

“mmm … ‘cause it’s you”

I tried to reach her lips …

“poda” she pushed me and got up from my lap. Then she came near, each of us foreheads clashed. She said “that one thing is I like you so so so much. Don’t go away from me. ok?” she whispered.

Suddenly Bingo opened the door;

She winked and she moved to kitchen by the way she said “don’t do it next time”

me “ai … loo”

“whatever” she left to kitchen

Now my bingo on my lap, “daddy, from tomorrow onwards …”

“you don’t want it right?”


“uhymm, you get me a mint after that” lighting reply, she winkled at me.

We both laughed out loudly.